Good to be back...

in my studio again! The original is available directly from my website: http://www.mainenaturepaintings.com/ or prints from link below. Enjoy, L

PTSD?

Surviving #2

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?!!

As a "Breast Cancer Survivor", I have actually heard people refer to me as brave or courageous, inspirational even! Most days I don't feel that way at all, and some days I'm just lost. Too often it seems any little thing can erode my confidence. For instance, this morning I walked past the bathroom closet, the door ajar. From the corner of my eye I saw a box of hygienic face masks. Instantly, the horror of chemotherapy treatment came upon me. I remembered white blood counts so low I could not risk going into a crowded grocery store or waiting in a line at the Post Office, forget about a friendly hug from a friend, neighbor, or worse, any small children! On certain days, I couldn't even work alone in my garden without a mask to protect me from airborne spores and germy dirt! And perhaps the worse place I had to be on a daily basis for a few months while on chemo was a crowded blood lab waiting room where everyone in there was sick with something! That box of earlobe masks sitting there on the shelf in my bathroom closet just totally decomposed me. I did this digital portrait as a way to help me process the intense feelings of raw fear I was experiencing. And how fortunate a friend showed up just as I was finishing up to pull me out of the past and back to the present! Thinking about it now, several hours later, I suppose since it's true I never showed or even felt any fear while going through chemotherapy, it must have been there on some level because it's showing up now, triggered by a stupid box of masks on a shelf.

See My Breast Cancer Journal

Surviving Cancer, Life on an Island

Monhegan Island Paintings

After completing chemotherapy and regaining some of my energy back, one of the first places I wanted to go was out to Monhegan Island. It is just an hour's ferry ride offshore in the Gulf of Maine. There is something about island life that is so peaceful and serene, and so timeless in it's remoteness and isolation.

Cancer scares people, and disclosing that information risks some friends and even some family members pulling away, leaving you alone on your island to cope however you can. Fortunately, there are also those special friends who stick with you to help in any way they can, and groups like the American Cancer Society and it's affiliates who understand and assist with the tangible needs that every cancer patient and survivor has. Like a lighthouse on a long, dark, stormy night guiding you safely to shore, you know you are not alone, and each and every day brings enjoyment and hope for recovery.

My Story